Marriage - Family & Values - Indian Girl way!

Off late I came across this fantastic video with a very beautiful message on "RELATIONSHIPS" -

RELATIONSHIP- by itself is a very broader term!!! As Indians, we are always taught- "VASUDHAIVA KUTUMBAKAM", a traditional Sanskrit phrase that means- "Whole world is one single family". Modern India, faces many "Kashmakash" of relationships. This post is a small effort to help understand and resolve the same.

Indian tradition, by itself encourages open mindedness (as far as we truly understand its essence and not narrow minded translated and customized versions of same!) We have a strong Geographical, racial, climatic, social, lingual, religion and, political Diversity. 

Ancient Indians, in fact, were extremely modern and broadminded in their mindset. They never held on too small-small things we call taboos today and were open and way too forward than us. India only changed with a series of invasions that happened in our country leading to various alterations in thoughts and minds and culture of people.

• In ancient India, during Vedic times, Indian culture had women ascetics called Rishikas. 
• According to Manusmriti, women in ancient India had the liberty to earn money and spend it the way they liked. They had the equal status as men in the society. They lived the life according to their rules and weren’t answerable to anyone.
• Mahabharata mentions that if women did not want to be intimate, no man could force her. Men were supposed to control themselves in such situations and walk on the path of the righteousness. A man was never allowed to beat his wife or treat her in an ill manner
• According to Lakshmi Tantra, all women are to be respected and treated equally irrespective of their looks.
• As per Manusmriti, women had full right to receive as much education as they want even it was more than men.
• Upanishads state that women can study Vedas, Upanishads, sacred texts etc, and can also choose to be an ‘acharya’ or a teacher.
• A famous Sanskrit poet, Rajasekhara, has said that there is nothing like gender bias in the field of literature. Ancient women contributed a lot in the field of literature and there were many learned ladies during that time. In Rig Veda society, women were given higher esteem and status. Women were allowed to remain a spinster and study religion and philosophy for the entire life.
• There was no dearth of brave and talented women in Ancient India. Ancient women were considered equally brave and talented as men and they were believed to be better administrators and were given prominent positions in politics. Some of them are Rani Chennamma, Rudramdevi of modern day Andhra Pradesh etc
• Men and women dating each other before marriage was absolutely normal in ancient India. Kalidasa’s Raghuvamsa, mentions about it. In fact, when courtesans went on a date in public parks, they were not disturbed at all.
• According to Manusmiriti, daughters and sons were given equal rights and opportunities to take care and look after their parents in old age. While today, many daughters are restricted to look after their parents after they are married.

In India, now a days, there is a strong shift in culture and values that affects present day gents and ladies equally. Marriages in India are marked by a lot of customs and traditions that are religiously followed to this day. Most of these customs were customized by few narrow thinkers but, in fact, never existed in ancient India. The dilemma today is, there are families where elders still follow some of the "customized" hollow customs, whereas the present generation, like me, very well understands how hollow and shallow these customs are. 
As Indian, it's our core value to respect our elders, our family customs and obey our elders and the customs "they" want us to follow. At some point, we do face the Dharam sankat, where our other core values do not align to the values of these hollow and shallow customs. 
The traditional Indian marriages are perfect example of such situation. Where the girl and her family (in most cases) are expected to obey or cooperate the terms put forth by boy's family, following one of those hollow and shallow customs. The bride and groom of today, are broadminded enuf to understand the hollowness and shallowness behind such concepts unnecessary termed as marriage customs. 


Indian girls and their families today, are strong enuf to decide whether they agree or disagree to such obligations. When there are disagreements, in between the families, based on such hollow and shallow customs, that leads to no continuation on marriage proposal.




What if, the girl and boy still want to get married? After all- 

...and we do appreciate that! 



Should the boy still marry the girl by going against his parents? Should the boy obey his family customs and abide to those hollow & shallow customs and marry accordingly? As a present day Indian girl, do we want our would-be to fight for us with his family and marry?



The answer, I believe most of the girls here would agree with me, is NO! No, we do not want you to disrespect and fight with your elders for us. We will never want you to leave your parents for us, just because of the difference in thought process. 



All we want is, for you to be equally considerate of our family as you are of your's. To be equally respectful of our parents as we are of your's. We will walk with you, in all phases of life, to take care of your family, irrespective of the difference of our thought process with them. 




Guys, we do not want you to elope. We just want you to understand.  Marriage, is a transition to adulthood. Where as a couple, we become the next care takers of our family and its tradition. What we follow, will be an epitome for our future generations, including our kids. As caretakers, it becomes our responsibility to get rid of hollow and shallow traditions followed in our families, our society. Charity begins at home, from home!




If we cannot make our loved one's understand our beliefs, how we then expect others and society to understand our core values?




Guys, we just want you to stand with us, and help each other, to fight out the hollow and shallow customs, so that our future kids do not even get to hear of same. 




So how to bring the change??? How to fight that thought process- the answer is very simple- with....



...... Love, ....





.....coz .....

Jay Sri Radhey! 😁😁😁😁